Society hit by new drug

Of all the dangerous substances being consumed by people nowadays: ice, alcohol marijuana, heroin, speed, ecstacy, cocaine and the many concoctions of over and under the counter chemicals being found on the streets and bars of Australia, it seems there’s a new one out that looks like it’ll trump the lot, particularly in regard to its social and philosophical effects on society. This is a drug that won’t be confined to any particular demographic; no, it looks like it’s going to infiltrate most social and economic classes.

The drug’s name is Compassion. And the formidable nature of it is that it can be manufactured by anyone and everyone; no need for a drug lab, no need for any implements at all.

The implications of the spread of this drug are phenomenal! Compared to all the other drugs, legal and illegal, most which leave the user with feelings of excitement, bliss or stupor, Compassion, when taken in large quantities, is highly likely to lead, first to an overwhelming sense of clarity, then to deep concern and a severe lack of contentment. Experts tell us that there is a possible on-going affect from many years of Compassion abuse, and that is a tendency towards deep sympathy and then action!  

Visiting French social psychologist Doctor Bee Avuerist, warns of the possible societal effects of the drug. “For many years Australian society has done very well without Compassion, particularly from the mid nineties onwards; you’ve been able to create a society and an economy envied by millions around the world. But the possible side effects could be devastating!”

Dr Aveurist claims the drug may not actually be new to our society. “According to forensic experts there is evidence Compassion may well have been manufactured and used in certain places such as some churches, family homes, hospitals, schools, small local surgeries and even some courts.” The real danger, according to Dr Aveurist, is that the drug may well infiltrate the more crucial institutions such as parliament or even prisons and police.

“It is important to note that Compassion knows no social or economic bounds” says Dr Aveurist, “From my observations it seems that certain high-flying business people may be using the drug, and, without really being aware of it, they’re showing some of the more severe side affects such as concern for the needy.”

Dr Aveurist cites Queensland mining entrepreneur Clive Palmer as a prime example. “His recent statements to the media supporting on-shore processing of boat people are a clear example of severe Compassion use.”

Clearly members of the Coalition are shocked by the sudden changes in Mr Palmer’s thinking and behaviour brought on by the drug, although it seems none of them want to make a comment about it. “When a person - either a family member or a colleague - becomes addicted to the drug it can be very hard to talk about and very hard to deal with; it has been known to break families apart,” said Dr Aveurist, who has been dealing with sever outbreaks of Compassion addiction in France and many European countries.

“For years in France, Norway, Denmark and Holland people have been using this dangerous drug, and it’s infiltrated our parliaments. At least in your country it seems the politicians haven’t started using it, although I have heard a rumour that some Greens members may have been experimenting with a mild form of it for some time.”

Political and Legal representatives in Australia have been caught short by the Compassion craze; however, there has been a suggestion amongst government officials that one way of dealing with the outbreak is by the implementation of crying rooms. Similar to heroin shooting galleries, the crying rooms would be placed in prominent places in cities throughout Australia, so that Compassion users can express sympathy and concern without affecting other members of the public.

            Exactly how we are going to deal with a possible outbreak of Compassion use is something few people have answers for, but should it spread with sudden vigour, health officials have warned that Federal Parliament House, all banking institutions, and Liberal and Labor Party offices will be declared safe houses.